Lindy is awesome, I am cray-cray.

Starting to put linden to bed in his crib lately. He always ends up in bed with us after like an hour which is really sweet so I'm trying to be patient. I have a hard time reminding myself that we do not currently have what you would call a 'sleep problem'. in fact most of the time i feel rested and ready to tcb (insert lip curl here). 

but! theres all the books and especially the internet that make me crazy-town because I keep thinking I should be doing something different than I am. 

But actually, I am doing a really good job so I am trying to get my brain to not be such a maniac. Stfu brain! 

Ah, deep breath. That's better. 

Have also been wondering lately if I have some late onset ppd symptoms. I have this sense of worry and anxiety that a lot of times keeps me from enjoying the baby and life and the older awesome kid and husband. And, I get sad because I want to control things so nothing bad will happen but that makes everyone around me like 'ugh im being micro-managed! Leave me alone, micromanager!'

Today I feel better though. I had an actual intelligent convo with Erin on the playground and it was nice to be verbal with someone other than a four month old. And I got my hmwrk finished up. So, right now, it's the little things that are making me stable and I can live with that today. We'll see what tomorrow has to bring, right? Yep. G'night.