in the shower today i realized how fleeting life is. ha! there i said it. i am going to die someday.
don't laugh. it's not like this is something i just got word of or a fact that i have been ignoring. i think about it a lot actually.
and so i thought i might meditate on it. the thought that hit me in the shower wasn't really just a "oh my god my plane is crashing" waking life kind of dream. it was more like a flashback on a conversation that i had with my mom wherein i told her that i don't want to be embalmed when i die. i would like to have a natural burial where they just take you and wrap you in your favorite blanky and put you down into the earth. then, my brain went to a netflix documentary that i had just watched called no impact man. in the movie, colin beavan has this worm box that he puts all of his organic trash into. kind of like a compost heap for the limited space of a new york city apartment.
and i realized that i would go back to the earth like that! i visualized myself being broken down. gruesome, right? but it was a happy thought. and for the first time i thought that i wasn't so scared if it was going to be like that. because then i could live on in all of the things around me and i could know what would happen and that i would always in some form exist in the world. so this is what i'm going to meditate on. my own death and the worms that will spread me around.
gonna be really pissed if the worms don't like the way i taste.
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